Reflection..

Today's post is all about looking back.. in a good way.. because without reflecting on the past, we can't see what we want to change/improve for the future, right!?  And while this entry has taken a while to hit publish, I think it's right to publish it on the last day of 2012.. Enjoy!

Reflection #1:  I was going through my old blog, I realized that in the past 2 1/2 years, I haven't gotten past 219 lbs.. That's just disgusting to me.. :(  And I can't wait to get past that now.. I'm at 235.8 right now, so give me another month and I'll hopefully be past that..

Reflection #2: I miss running.. While I'm still on the fence about how I feel about racing, I do know that I miss running..  And I can't wait to get back into running, once I'm sure I'm not going to hurt myself of course..

Reflection #3:  Some of the people I've been friends with in the past are no longer in my life.. for good reasons.. And some of the people that have stuck around (albeit in the back of my mind) are making their way back into my social life, now that I'm trying to make that a priority.. I've missed certain people and I'm glad that they felt the same way..

Reflection #4:  Few people can say what I'm about to say next: my best friends have been, and always will be, the same as they were in high school for the most part.. Amanda and Cassie, while we've left and came back, had periods where we didn't talk but were always in our thoughts, and hang out around kids and lives, I'm grateful that you both are still my besties!  :)

Reflection #5:  The Vertical Sleeve gastrectomy was the best decision of my life.. People asked me all before the surgery if I was nervous, and for some reason, I wasn't up until the 30 seconds before they put me under.. I knew in my heart that this was the way I needed to go, and my head and heart agreed..

Reflection #6:  Facebook is annoying most of the time.. Until it helps you meet people that you normally wouldn't have ever met because they live far away..  I have several people that I consider friends and they don't live anywhere near me.. Gives me good reasons to travel.. :)

Reflection #7:  This year was hard, in general.. I was going to say battling depression, but I didn't really battle it.. I succumbed to it.. My social anxiety too.. But with my car accident and the robbing of my house, I'd say it was a somewhat crappy year.. Yes, there were some good times, and it is ending on a high note, but for the most part there was more bad than good.. 2013 will be more good than bad, I swear to myself..

Reflection #8:  The Indianapolis Colts, despite having an all new team this year and basically being predicted to suck ass, have pulled a fast one on all those haters and came out shining!  I was sad to see Peyton Manning leave at the beginning of this year, especially to the Denver Broncos, but I was happy to see that this didn't make too much of an overall impact on the team in the long run.. GO COLTS!!

Reflection #9:  This blog was supposed to be about my FABULOUS LIFE.. Not just about weight loss.. so my goal for 2013 is to get out more and try new things.. and BLOG ABOUT THEM!  lol.. Because blogging about ONLY weight loss is boring.. and I'm sure most people don't want to read all about that crap.. :)

I hope everyone has a wonderful AND SAFE New Years Eve, and gets 2013 started right.. Whatever that may mean to you..

Rough 48 Hours..

Okay, I'll be honest.. because that's what this blog is for right?!  The last 48 hours of eating have been rough.. Lots of carbs.. protein too, but most of my meals were carb-based meals.. After making Christmas cookies, to essentially give away, I ate about 5 or 6 of them (mostly last night to keep myself awake at work).. I made myself sick because I ate so much sugar and carbs, not literally but I don't wanna see another sugar cookie for a while.. lol

While I don't want to get into that kind of habit again, it obviously was what my body needed to push myself back into weight loss, because since my last weigh in on Saturday (at 244.8), I've lost 4 lbs!  I've heard about kicking up your calories for a week to jump start your weight loss again, but I've never tried it (on purpose that is).. So I'm back to eating protein packed foods, drinking my skim chocolate milk, and taking my vitamins like I should.. :)

How are you all planning to keep the weight off over the holidays?  I'm going to make sure I eat as much protein first and as little carbs as possible.. It helps that I can't eat bread, and that really sugary things make my stomach hurt just to think about them..

I'm finding all sorts of recipes that I want to try on Pinterest.. I can't wait to start the new year..

Pinterest Plans..

If you are like me, you're in love with Pinterest and have 100's of pins that you've never looked at twice.. lol.. Well, my plan for 2013 is to do the following with Pinterest:

Wanna check out my pins/boards?! Click the Pinterest logo..

** Make one recipe a week from my "Food Ideas" board..
** Make one thing a month from my "I Want To Make" board..
** Try at least one thing per week from my "Fitness Stuff" board..
** Implement at least one thing from my "Money Saving Ideas" board..
** Do one thing per month from my "Organizing Ideas" board..

And blog about each one!  Because that is what we do, right?!  Until 2013 rolls in, I plan to print out all the recipes, and hopefully plan out as much of this as possible..

I'm excited to learn new things and teach myself how to cook better.. :)

What are you looking forward to most about 2013??

In A Perfect World..

In MY perfect world..

There is no doubt in a higher power (whatever it may be to you)..
Cupcakes and cookies don't make you fat..
Everyone would find their soul mate..
Exercise would make us look awesome right away.. 
There are no children dying..
There are no people dying because someone else made a bad decision..
Parents would take care of their children before anything else..
Unemployment wouldn't be a problem..
The world wouldn't be in the state it is in..

Today's tragedy is just one more reason why I'm not sure I want to have children any time soon.. Yes, I realize it's not really an issue right now, but you know what I mean..  I don't watch the news for a reason.. It never says anything good, does it?!  There is never stories about the people who have become U.S. Citizens, or about how many people have found jobs in *this much time*.. It's about how people are dying, or how the weather is wrecking havoc on our county..

I hate that anyone has to worry about if they'll see their loved ones tomorrow.. I truly would love to say that I am untouched by this recent shooting, but I'd be lying.. When I saw this news story, my first thought was "I hope they kill that bastard".. Yes, I thought that.. I may lose followers over my opinion of this, but my stance is that if you kill even one child ("accident" or not) you deserve to die..  But the government doesn't think that's "humane".. What is humane about someone taking a child's life?!  And now I just found out that they found the body of a 19 year old that's been missing for 3 months.. When will the killing end??

Okay, enough darkness..

Tomorrow is my father's 50th birthday!  Shocking, but true.. I am a creative person, so I made him a diaper cake.. :)  Wanna see it?!  Well, here it is..

It's got all sorts of adult diapers in it.. plus some "50" suckers, Warning tape and a magnifying glass.. :)  I also got him an inflatable walker for a gag.. lol

I'm hoping he'll have a great birthday.. :)

Too Early to Set Goals for 2013?

According to the Mayans, the world is gonna end before we even get to New Years Eve.. but I don't believe them and I'm gonna plan my goals out for 2013 like I would if it were any other year..  And I will make sure to get as many of them done as financially possible.. :)

Here are a couple of them.. Check out the rest, which I'll be updating for the rest of December when I come up with ideas, of them on my 30 by 30 page.. And feel free to leave suggestions in my comments.. 

** Get back into running
** Learn to box
** Go to Vegas for 30th birthday
** See at least 4 shows/concerts
** Move into my own place
** Find a full-time job (hopefully within hospital)

Short and sweet entry today.. I'm off to bed now.. :)

"Battle" Scars

Well, I've been meaning to do this for a while but I kept putting it off (basically bc I didn't want to show anyone my chubby belly still).. lol.. No more though.. While I'm posting my pics from surgery on a seperate page (for the people that really don't want to see that kind of thing), so if you want to see the interesting pics, click here..

But this is just a pic of my belly, as of today, and how I'm healing..  So here we go!

Seven total holes, and thankfully they are all healing well.. My belly button took a while, well it's been about a month, but figuring how gross belly buttons are..... I've been cotton swabbing this thing twice a day and putting Neosporin in it to make sure I don't get any kind of infection.. lol

So Close..

Well, I just hit my one month pre-op date.. and I'm kinda mad, kinda happy.. We all know how that is, right?!  I'm mad because I haven't lost as much as I'd hoped to lose in the first month, but I'm happy because I lost a lot of weight despite having TWO TOM's.. So here's the recap for the month, weigh in wise:

Month 1: -27.8 lbs

I'm so close to 30 lbs I can taste it!  But the main reason I'm mad is because I haven't really been following the "rules" too much.. Yes, I have been getting my 60 grams of protein in a day.. but I looked at my menu thing they gave me, and it says no more than 4 oz per meal.. I know for a fact that I was eating more than that at some meals.. I mean, one of the chicken breasts I eat is 5oz by itself..

As I look back though, I get full and wait a bit, then eat some more.. and that's not good at all..  I need to follow the "rules" for as long as I can, to maximize my weight loss.. I was also afraid that doing my workout on the Wii wasn't a good idea bc I felt icky the next day.. But after it wore off, I knew it was just all the crap floating around..

Oh yeah, what is with this flu epidemic that seems to have hit EVERYWHERE?!  Seriously, I just want to put out a box of yellow masks at my door and tell people to stay the hell away from me if they even have the sniffles.. lol.. I have had my flu shot, and hopefully won't get this crappy thing..  I don't like to throw up in any way/shape/form.. Ick!

Well, I'm off to enjoy my weekend.. All these birds chirping makes me wonder if they are as confused about the weather as Mother Nature is.. and I may take advantage of it and go for a bike ride.. :)

Kickin' It Old School..

And by old school, I mean the Original Just Dance game.. lol

 

Y'all remember this game right?!  Well, while my Wii was stolen (thanks to my dumb ass neighbors), my grandmother was nice enough to give me her rarely used one.. THANK YOU GRANDMA!!  I got it out of the box (yes, she still had the box 3 years later.. hehe) and did all the beginning stuff yesterday.. But I didn't get to work out with it until today (bc I'm a slacker, but I'm working on it), and boy did I forget how fun this game was..

I did 5 full songs (bc the short version should come with a "you're a sissy, just do the full version" pop up with it) and I was winded after the 3rd one.. I was determined to do 30 minutes of it (only did 25 because I forgot to look at the clock before starting), and then went to make dinner.. :)

Well, I got my workout in.. WOOHOO!!

I Want A Money Tree For Christmas..

Yep, if those actually existed, I'd want one for Christmas.. And so would everyone else I'm sure.. It'd be the hottest thing out there, instead of Furbies.. lol.. but no, seriously, my money flow is trickling down it seems..

It doesn't help that my full time job is not getting me ANY hours, and hasn't for the past 1.5 weeks.. I'm about to quit, if I could find a job to do instead of it.. ** Just called a place that I saw online, and all their appointments were booked.. geez!! **  I embarrassingly had to put back my two angels I got off the angel tree (which makes me mad and makes me sad), and I'm selling things I can no longer fit into (thank goodness) so that my bills get paid..

Thankfully, we are getting paid this week, and while it won't be much, it'll be enough to pay what I have to pay this week.. PLUS, we're getting a bonus next week!!  So that extra money will keep me going for a couple more weeks.. But if I don't start working next week at my full-time job, I'm gonna be in trouble come January..

Anyone have any ideas??  I hate looking for jobs (partly bc of my ADHD, partly bc it just sucks ass), but I will bc I can't afford to just sit at home.. unless I got to work from home, which would be fabulous, right?!  lol.. in my dreams!

I'm just worrying prematurely I think, but it's what I do.. I worry that I won't be able to pay for my car payment, or that something will happen while I'm on limited funds and I'll be screwed.. It's a battle I have with myself anymore.. If you'd have seen me 5 years ago, you'd never think I'd be like this.. 5 years ago, I couldn't have cared less if I could have paid my rent on time or any of my bills.. I just wanted to have fun whenever I could..  Job?!  Oh, I had one, but I didn't care about it and I called in frequently.. and eventually quit for an easier (and less hours) job..  I'm amazed that my friend and roomie didn't kill me back then.. :(

I am more mature now, and that means I have mature responsibilities.. aka paying my bills, keeping my job, not calling in, etc..  And if I want to move in February, I can't move knowing that I'm only working 23 hours a week (if that)..

Any ideas??

Playing the Waiting Game..

As I sit here looking at the calendar, I'm amazed that it's almost been a month since I had my surgery.. It doesn't seem like that long ago, but then again it seems like forever ago.. lol.. and while my doctor said something about not working out for 6 weeks, I plan to call tomorrow to ask what their definition of "working out" is.. I truly can't stand waiting two more weeks to do something more than walking and riding my bike..

Another thing I'm waiting on is weighing myself again.. I plan to weigh in on Friday for my 1 month weight loss.. I'm hoping to hit the 30 lb mark.. :)  That would make my two TOM's worth it, I guess.. lol.. In case you don't follow my FB page, I ate pizza yesterday.. I ate 1/2 a Totino's Party pizza.. in three hours.. lol.. I will probably not do that for a long time.. It was nice to know I could eat it, and it was yummy, but I don't want to get into the habit of eating pizza again..

Back a long time ago, I signed up for Match.com.. I keep getting daily match emails and I just laugh at some of the people they match me with.. I say that because some I went to school with (either high school or college), and some I used to work with (and know for a fact that they are douches!).. I love when I get emails that say "You've been checked out __ times".. It makes me giggle every time..  I'm not sure if I plan to join it or eharmony, but I will not be single NEXT New Years.. :)

Well, It's Official..

I might be getting back my "Picture Whore" mojo!  lol.. I started out this entry like the rest of them for the past few weeks.. it was all about food and post-surgery talk.. Yep, I deleted the whole thing (only a couple of paragraphs, but still) and decided I was gonna talk about something totally unrelated to food and post-surgery anything..

Back when I was my thinnest, in June 2007, I took pictures of myself ALL THE TIME!  I seriously had probably 1,000+ pictures of myself (sometimes with other people, sometimes by myself) at that time.. Of course, I also smiled in all of them..

That time of my life, end of 2006 to mid-2007, was the happiest I've been in a long time.. I moved home at the end of 2007, because I started to get chubby and depressed around September..  I am finally getting to where I am happy a lot more, and actually enjoying going places..  This past weekend, I went to the Columbus Festival of Lights parade with my besties Amanda and Cassie (and their brood of kiddos) and was so happy to be out..

While I know I've only lost a bit of weight, I'm happy that it's happening FINALLY!  And it just took surgery!  ;)  But this picture is one of many that I plan to take in the future..

Well, I'm off to go finish my Katherine Hiegl marathon.. lol.. Oh, on a small food note, I can now eat anything normal people can eat!  YAY!!  Hope you all had a great weekend.. I know I did..