Monday, February 27, 2012

I'm Alice..

and life right now is my rabbit hole..

Honestly, I'm so confused right now..  I couldn't tell you what made it apparent to me, but it just hit me in the face tonight.. I hate that I've essentially gave up on anything to do with finding myself..

My professional life is good.. I'm taking on more responsibilities at my job, and getting more hours.. but my professional life isn't what I'm worried about.. It's the rest of it..

I was asking myself earlier what I would do if I had a week off work.. ha!  I'd stay at home and sleep, that was my first answer.. and that is so sad to me..  I wouldn't even begin to know what I'd want to do or where I'd want to go if I had that kind of time off.. but I bet I'd be hoping that my paycheck wouldn't suffer..

Writing this is making me sadder, but it's something I need to acknowledge.. especially since I seem to be able to bury stuff so well.. which is another reason I've not been to the gym or been blogging.. I'm not even going to say how much I think I weigh.. that'd be disgusting..

How did I let this happen??  I am so stuck..