Monday, February 27, 2012

I'm Alice..

and life right now is my rabbit hole..

Honestly, I'm so confused right now..  I couldn't tell you what made it apparent to me, but it just hit me in the face tonight.. I hate that I've essentially gave up on anything to do with finding myself..

My professional life is good.. I'm taking on more responsibilities at my job, and getting more hours.. but my professional life isn't what I'm worried about.. It's the rest of it..

I was asking myself earlier what I would do if I had a week off work.. ha!  I'd stay at home and sleep, that was my first answer.. and that is so sad to me..  I wouldn't even begin to know what I'd want to do or where I'd want to go if I had that kind of time off.. but I bet I'd be hoping that my paycheck wouldn't suffer..

Writing this is making me sadder, but it's something I need to acknowledge.. especially since I seem to be able to bury stuff so well.. which is another reason I've not been to the gym or been blogging.. I'm not even going to say how much I think I weigh.. that'd be disgusting..

How did I let this happen??  I am so stuck..


  1. for me blogging has always been the ultimate release.

    write away.
    see if it helps?



  2. So sorry you're feeling this way. Dig yourself out of the rabbit hole and keep fighting, that's how we get stronger. And yes, keep writing through it. I should have kept writing last summer when I was struggling.

  3. I agree with Carla. Maybe by writing it all down, you'll get a good idea of what you need to do to regain focus on what you want to achieve.

  4. Heyyy I was just thinking about you today and how you had been really quiet, so I went to your blog and low and behold you have an update!!! (Can you tell I'm crazy behind in reading blogs???) Anyway, I seriously agree with everyone above. Once you make a list, perhaps focus on improving ONE thing at a time...even if it's something really simple. Focus on something that you enjoy (other than sleep!). I'm really rooting for you to pull yourself out of the funk, I know you're a determined woman and you will grab control of this thing!