Tuesday, July 5, 2011


I have been debating on writing about this for a while.. and now, it got to me a few days ago, so here I am to talk about it.. :)

So, we all have different perceptions of the world.. it makes us interesting, the way we see things differently than others.. and perception is a big issue with weight loss, I think.. some people are lucky to have an accurate perception of themselves.. they see that they are bigger/skinnier than they 'should' be or they think they are beautiful the way they are..

I wish I had that ability to love myself.. and no, i'm not looking for the 'your beautiful' comments.. but I don't love my outward self fat.. is that a bad thing??  I think my personality is better (more prominent) whether i'm big or skinnier, but I think I look DAMN GOOD when i'm smaller..

I say this a lot, and I wonder if people understand what I mean.. 'there are pretty fat people, and there are people who just don't look good fat'.. my mom is one of those ladies who look good bigger.. I AM NOT! I need definition in my face to feel pretty, I need to see I have cheekbones (which disappear when I gain weight)..

My mom, bless her heart, doesn't see why I feel this way.. which is ok, but i'm getting sick of explaining why I do feel this way.. lol.. I don't WANT to be 'happy' with myself being fat.. is that so hard to imagine?!

Wow, I think this entry kinda went off track.. lol 


  1. I know what you are saying, I often wonder about my perception of myself. When I look at other people I honestly see what is beautiful about them. I wonder if they see the same.

  2. Fat or skinny, I still saw myself as pretty. I think that was part of the problem holding me back when I was only 30-40 lbs overweight. I shrugged it off thinking "I could always lose it when I want"
    It was only when my weight got out of control ballooning up and I was no longer pretty that I realized I had an issue.

    I got back down to the threshhold of 30-40 lbs overweight and found myself wanting to push myself a bit more.

    It's perfectly fine wanting to be a better version of yourself. I still have days I feel the same size as the beginning of the journey.

  3. I know EXACTLY what you mean. Some days I feel GORGEOUS bigger, and others I feel huge & ugly. It's one of those constant & vicious cycles that never seems to go away.

    I hope you realize that no matter what, you are beautiful...because you are. And small or big, it's what's inside that matters. But either way, it's your confidence that will show the beauty.

  4. I know exactly how you feel....I am also one of those people that does not look good fat....I hate seeing pictures of myself right now but we work to get past it!

  5. Sometimes we need to look a certain way to make sure all our best features stand out i.e. cheekbones or jaw etc and it's those features that give us a huge confidence boost.

    I'm in a tough situation though, I don't look good fat and i've never been thin, so I guess i'll just have to find out!