Thursday, January 9, 2014

ADD and Me..

As I sit at work, I notice that I don't have my ADD as in control as I think I do.. I was diagnosed with ADD in kindergarten, and am one of the 'lucky ones' that didn't grow out of it.. **I write that with as much sarcasm as physically possible**

I was on meds until 6th grade, when my mom took me off them.. That same year, I was so bored one day I was trying to fix a computer disk and sliced my wrist open.. AT SCHOOL.. It was a rough road from there on..

I barely graduated high school.. One reason is because no one sat me down and helped me like they help kids now.. There were no IEP's or plans put into place for my education.. You either made it or you didn't.. I almost didn't.. Another reason is because no one pushed me to realize, while I was smart enough, I wasn't driven enough to make it through Honor's classes..

Honestly, I should have never gone to college right after high school.. But, I was stubborn and wanted to be a normal college kid.. Yeah, that wasn't in the cards.. I flunked a BUNCH of classes.. I joined a sorority, one of the best things ever, and almost screwed that up bc my enthusiasm for things never last long.. I was elected to office and had to leave halfway through bc I felt like they deserved better (and I wasn't making the grades)..

In 'adulthood', I didn't care how my bills got paid.. Hence my $40,000 in school loans.. I almost ruined a friendship bc of my irresponsibility.. Thankfully, I moved out before I could do more damage and we are great friends now.. But I would call into work bc I wanted to have fun.. Not to mention how many jobs I had between 16 and 25.. Holy cow!!

I have found out over the years what works for me:

** Job wise, I have to do something different all the time.. While I can have the same kind of things to do, I do not do them at the same time, the same way, every day..  So working in home health (my previus job) and an Emergency Room (my current job) are PERFECT!! Workin in a nursing home, not so much..

** School wise, I need help.. Whether it's from school officials, private test taking allowances, or taping classes.. This is where my 'sticking it out' issues come into play the worst.. I get so excited in the beginning, so happy to start school and learn more, and then a couple weeks in, I'm over going to classes and soon homework.. I've learned that online classes, no matter how 'simple' they may be, are not a good idea bc of my time management issues.. News flash: I PROCRASTINATE!! Lol..

Life wise: I'm still learning to cope in life with ADD.. Thankfully, with all the technology, it's becoming easier, but still not easy.. I am horrible about keeping plans.. And yet, I cannot do things on the fly.. I have to know about something at least 24 hours before hand (most of the time) or I will automatically say no.. Unless I'm traveling, then for some odd reason, I'm okay.. Lol.. I also am horrible at interrupting.. I truly hope all my friends realize that its not something i can 100% control.. But if I have something to say, and don't say it within a certain time frame, it's gone.. POOF, buh-bye.. 

My ADD is also why I have had such a hard time sticking to my 'promises' over the years.. My attempts to lose weight, my attempts to go to the gym, my attempts to do things on my blog.. They all get forgotten or pushed aside partly because of my ADD.. I have good intentions, but my follow through is horrible..

This whole blog may sound like a bunch of excuses to you.. It's okay if you think that way, I get that a lot.. But this is something that I will have to deal with forever, at this rate, and I just want people to understand.. If you know someone with ADD or ADHD (I'm DEFINITELY not hyper), please try to think of how their life is effected by this.. Because it always is, in some way..

By the way, this blog took 2 days to write.. Lol

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