It's hot as HADES out there..

Whew!  I walked outside this morning to help my mom carry in groceries and almost told her to do it herself, bc it was sweltering outside.. and it was only 10 am.. but, of course, I didn't say that and did it.. HOLY COW!  How do people get their booties out there and walk or even run in this heat?!  I was reading Joanna's blog a few days ago and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head!  I'm a big fan of Spring and Fall weather.. just enough of both sides of the weather spectrum in those seasons that I don't get to be too lazy bc of temperatures.. Winter, I can even get out in that, bc like Joanna said, it's easier to get warmer than it is to get cooled off..

Summer?!  THIS summer?!  Don't even get me started, bc I'm sure it'll sound just like anything you've thought during the past few months.. lol.. I've used this weather as an excuse multiple times to get out of going outside to workout.. Hell, I can literally look out my window and see the lake I live by, so it wouldn't be too much trouble to go walk for a little bit.. but even going those few 100 feet to get there is like breathing water.. ugh!

But no more!!  Friday, I joined the gym!  Today, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes on the treadmill!  Oh, treadmill how I have missed thee.. lol.. air conditioning, sweat dripping down my face, humidity-free air in my lungs.. woohoo!!

BTW, if you don't follow/read Joanna's blog, Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman, you really should.. :)

Is it REALLY August already?!

Seriously, I just gotta get this out of the way... 

WHERE THE HELL DID THE YEAR GO?!  

It freaks me out that in a little over 3 months I will turn 28.. 

IN MY PARENTS HOUSE!!  :(

Now on to our normal, non-freaking out, part of the post.. lol.. Today, if you haven't seen the calendar, is August 1st.. and I've decided that this is the perfect day to start things rolling.. I'm still broke, I'm still at the mercy (to a certain extent) of my mom for food, but I did get my gym membership, and started that on Friday.. I ACTUALLY woke up at 4:50am and went to the gym before going to work at 8am.. I was really proud of myself.. and it kept going today, but not like I'd planned..

Thanks to a migraine that wouldn't go away, I didn't get to the gym until 6ish, but I got to go to a Zumba class (which isn't really a Zumba class, more like a dance aerobics class sadly) and got my sweat on.. :)  I was there 10 minutes before I started breathing heavy and sweating profusely.. lol.. but I lasted almost the whole class, and I would have but I saw a friend that I've been trying to see for a while.. but I lasted 45 out of the 50 minutes.. I'm pretty happy with that.. and then I did 20 minutes on the elliptical machine and 4 sets of 15 on the lateral pull down machine.. :)  Get's rid of that back fat.. yay!!

Alright, so my last post was about my giveaway.. and I'm shocked to see that only 2 people have commented on it!  I have 109 followers, and out of all of those people, only 2 can use help getting financial help???  It's really simple to enter.. promise.. :)  So check it out!  You have until August 12th to enter..

I'M DOING A GIVEAWAY!!!

Okay, so this life is full of different things coming at us.. life is never easy and the more tools we have to keep ourselves in the black, the better.. on that note (if you understood it, bc I'm still kinda fuzzy as to if it makes sense.. lol), this giveaway is about financial independence.. :)

As many of you know, if you've been reading, I am trying to become financially responsible... and thanks to everyone's comments on FB (which I can now no longer find), I've decided that Dave Ramsey is the best option for me.. TODAY, I got the opportunity to get a free copy of his latest book, Total Money Makeover, by writing why I think I needed it.. :)

So, since he is getting multiple copies, I asked if I could have one to give away on here!!  and he said yes!  WOOHOO!  Well, if you would like to enter to win this book, all you have to do is what I did: Leave me a comment, about a paragraph in length, about why you need to get this book below.. IT MUST BE ON THIS ENTRY!!  No entries on other entries are going to be accepted (I don't wanna miss anyone).. It's that simple.. Of course you have to have a GoogleId to leave a comment, and I'd APPRECIATE the follow but it's not necessary.. :)

The deadline for comments will be August 12th @ 9pm!  So that gives you 2 weeks.. Good luck!  Oh, and I will be chosing the one to win personally.. I don't think it's fair to have you write something and it not be used for anything.. lol.. however, I promise to show no "favortism" or be swayed in any way to pick any certain person.. this is based on what your entry says..

Well, hmmm..

Okay, so I was asked what happened to me and my blog today.. and honestly, I can't answer that simply because it's not simple whatsoever..  Wanna know why?!  Well, since I just read Sabrina's blog, I'm gonna do a bullet list.. :)

* I'm broke and barely working..

* I'm barely working enough to cover my "rent", car payment, 

car insurance and gas.. aka my bare necessities..

* I can't afford to buy junk food, let alone healthy stuff..

* Due to lack of funds, I'm basically stuck at home..

* And due to being stuck at home, I've gotten SERIOUSLY lazy..

Now, what am I planning to do to fix all this, may you ask?!

* I've applied to my local YMCA for a financially assisted membership..

* I'm waiting (with bated breath) to hear if I got a better (40+/week) job..

* I'm trying not to eat too much junk..

* I've got an idea how to make myself get more stuff done.. more on that tomorrow..

* I'm trying to figure out the at-home working out thing.. I WANT A TREADMILL!!  :(

A big part of me (no pun intended) is wishing this would just be easy.. that I could just not pay attention to what I'm putting in my mouth, not do any activity and just lose the almost 80 lbs I need to lose.. Wouldn't that be AWESOME?!  and a flipping miracle!?  And there is my laziness again!!

I'm thinking, with my ADHD brain (which unfortunately has made me a "late bloomer" with most things in life), I may have to go high school with this weight loss issue (and yes, I'm going to stop calling this a journey.. A journey implies it's a nice thing.. Nope, this isn't a nice thing.. it's a pain in my ass!!  So this is an issue to me, and one I plan to get a hold of starting today).. The plan?!  To get EVERY Victoria's Secret, Cosmo, Glamour, Fitness and Shape magazine that I own and cut out all the pretty people and clothes I aspire to look like/fit into when I get slimmer and putting them on a poster board above my refrigerator..  See, told ya it was going high school.. lol..

OH!  and I plan to buy a full length mirror (a cheapy for now) and put it somewhere so I HAVE to see my full self multiple times a day.. I think that's half my issue.. as long as my face looks good (which I still only have one chin despite gaining weight), I'm telling myself it's okay.. IT ENDS NOW!!  I'm off to go break out the scissors and magazines.. :)

Mistakes..

We all make them, right?!

Well, I've been racking up my mistakes like pennies in a jar..

UGH!!

I know that I shouldn't live in the past.. but things in the present make me think back to the past.. like last night, I went to the county fair with my BFF and her kiddos.. we had a pretty good time.. and yes, I made sure I got my funnel cake.. but then I ran into a guy I dated with his son.. and I just wished so bad I hadn't screwed that up.. Honestly, he's one of those "I wanna go back in time and make sure I don't do it again" kinda mistakes.. I was so unhappy with myself when we started dating (and really jaded) that I just screwed it up before it had any room to go anywhere.. WTF?!

Why oh why do we screw things up when we really want them?!  I am not alone in this feeling.. I have a friend who is at this point now.. and we both deserve happiness.. don't we all?!  Of course, this guy that I'm talking about is dating someone (I'm prettier.. and yes, I feel a teeny bit bad for saying that).. and it doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon, so I'm back to wishing from afar (not really, but it sounded better than "giving up")..

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Now, onto the weight related part of this post.. As I write this, I'm eating mini marshmallows.. Yep, and underneath it lays my newest issue of Fitness magazine.. The irony is not lost on me.. But I honestly am so stressed out that trying to fix my food issues right now would prolly push me over the proverbial edge.. I AM however working out a way to afford my gym near my house.. I'm hoping that I can get started soon, seeing as I've been working so much and should be able to afford the joining fee..

I am currently dealing with my TOM, which means that NOTHING fits me correctly and I'm craving marshmallows.. ugh!  I can't wait to get health insurance and get checked out for endometriosis or PCOS..  All of this cannot be normal.. but that's another issue all together.. lol

Tomorrow is my weigh in.. and as you can imagine, I'm NOT looking forward to it..  I wish life were simple at least 60% of the time.. right now, for every good thing that happens in my life, two bad things happen (big or small).. did I mention I had a job interview at a hospital I REALLY want to get on at this morning?!  Yeah, and from what all she said (giving me pretty specific time lines and saying that while someone else makes the decision, she has the final word) I should be hearing back from them soon.. and then I get a letter in the mail saying my car insurance was being cancelled because I didn't give them info about MY MOM!!  WTF?!  1. I never got a letter saying they needed said info and 2. What's my mom got to do with MY car insurance?!  

I got it figured out, I think.. but still, it should never have happened..  My luck is just nuts!!

Putting My BG Panties On..

Yeah, you read that right.. I'm putting my Big Girl panties on.. and no, not literally.. but I've kinda been living with my head in the sand about some things, financial things, and it's time that I try to fix them (or at least attempt to)..

I don't have that much debt.. I have a few store credit cards, some medical bills, and a lot of student loans.. my credit cards are not anymore than $600 each, and my medical bills aren't even close to that, but my student loans.. WOW!  I don't even like looking at the zeroes attached to that bill.. :(

And yet, even making $500 a week (which I was at one point making), I never paid everything on time.. Honestly, I didn't care sometimes.. I know, I'm irresponsible.. which is partly why I'm not trying to date.. Who wants to date someone with so much bad judgement!?  This is a rhetorical question, btw.. lol.. I don't care what you say, once a guy finds out that I'd rather shop than pay my bills, he's gonna run for the hills.. 

Yes, I know I need to go see a therapist.. admit it, some of you are thinking that I need help.. and I'll be right there agreeing with you.. but I've noticed that there aren't many FREE or CHEAP therapists around me.. :(  So I'm going to do this on my own.. well, kinda.. I plan to look for books on how to pay off my debt with what little money I have..

So if you have any good "get out of debt" books or websites for me, I'd be eternally grateful.. :)

Ending on a Good Note..

Well, it's 10:30pm my time.. and I'm 3.5 for 4 on my goals for today.. I say 3.5 because I only did 14 minutes of cardio today.. :(  BUT, I figure it's a good jumping off point.. and I may just try to do 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes after work because my attention span with working out outside is HORRIBLE!  I was bored at 8 minutes.. lol.. I got the Shake Weight workout and the crunches done before work today.. and my abs are sore and my arms are burning.. YAY!!  lol.. Now, if I could just get my eating under control.. and as I write this, I'm tossing my peanut butter in the trash!   Me and peanut butter have a love hate relationship.. I love it SO much, but it doesn't love me in a good way.. :(   Buh bye peanut butter.. lol..

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OH!! I totally forgot to blog about this.. and I have NO IDEA how! lol.. Despite my lack of funds, I got tickets to the NKOTBSB concert on July 20th!!!!  I say tickets because I got one for me and one for my BFF, Manda.. thanks to a handy credit card that I plan to pay back before it's August due date, me and my BFF get to see all those guys!!  I'm so excited!!  Now, I really wish I could say I did this because I met a goal.. Nope, I just really wanted to go.. nothing more..

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Alrighty, so I figured out why I was going over my calories the past few days.. It was set to 1600 calories a day (losing 2 lbs per week)!!  NOT OKAY right now.. I can't go from eating 2500 calories to 1600 and not expect to go crazy.. so I changed it to 1830 calories (losing 1 lb a week).. I figure once I get down to where I'm consistently losing 1 lb a week, then I will cut my calories again, I guess..