Losing..

While I'm trying to lose weight, I realize this is SO not an easy thing.. and after weighing myself tonight, I'm not sure I plan to continue with this form of my diet..  I am having a hard time remembering to eat the oatmeal and yogurt.. and I've noticed that I'm not counting my carbs like I should be.. I also am not liking that I seem to "think I know" how many carbs are in stuff.. After looking up how many were in a banana, I was shocked!  Holy cow!!  23 grams in 1 small banana!!  That's 1/3 of my daily carbs..  Not cool!

I realize that my weight tonight is prolly off from what it will be in the morning, but I was shocked to see I'd GAINED 5 lbs since Monday.. WTF?!  Yeah, I'm not even waiting til Monday to switch.. I'm starting TOMORROW (since I'm not eating anymore tonight)..  I can do this, and I know that all that I do now will help me in the future..

Now, my weight gain could be from the stress I'm keeping inside because I lost my morning job on Monday.. :(  I can't afford to be without a job for long, as I don't have any savings yet (I know, it's a big issue I plan to tackle as soon as I get a better job).. She said she'd re-hire me once she got more kids, but with everything still up in the air, I'm not sure I can afford to wait for her.. So I'm applying to hospitals around me, or I will as soon as I get my resume revamped.. Good gravy, my resume is just horrible.. lol.. This puts the new gym membership in the toilet.. and probably my new tanning bed membership.. and this makes me more motivated to find a job..

I've got my stuff out on my chair to make sure I wake up and go out to walk or run.. I've noticed if I say "I'm going to go running later", I chicken out.. So I'm going walking tomorrow morning, and if I happen to run, so be it.. If I don't, I will eventually..  I just have to keep telling myself that..

Oh, and can I just say that finding that I'd lost 2 followers in less than 12 hours kinda sucks.. :(  I hope you come back, but understand if you don't..