Reflection..

Today's post is all about looking back.. in a good way.. because without reflecting on the past, we can't see what we want to change/improve for the future, right!?  And while this entry has taken a while to hit publish, I think it's right to publish it on the last day of 2012.. Enjoy!

Reflection #1:  I was going through my old blog, I realized that in the past 2 1/2 years, I haven't gotten past 219 lbs.. That's just disgusting to me.. :(  And I can't wait to get past that now.. I'm at 235.8 right now, so give me another month and I'll hopefully be past that..

Reflection #2: I miss running.. While I'm still on the fence about how I feel about racing, I do know that I miss running..  And I can't wait to get back into running, once I'm sure I'm not going to hurt myself of course..

Reflection #3:  Some of the people I've been friends with in the past are no longer in my life.. for good reasons.. And some of the people that have stuck around (albeit in the back of my mind) are making their way back into my social life, now that I'm trying to make that a priority.. I've missed certain people and I'm glad that they felt the same way..

Reflection #4:  Few people can say what I'm about to say next: my best friends have been, and always will be, the same as they were in high school for the most part.. Amanda and Cassie, while we've left and came back, had periods where we didn't talk but were always in our thoughts, and hang out around kids and lives, I'm grateful that you both are still my besties!  :)

Reflection #5:  The Vertical Sleeve gastrectomy was the best decision of my life.. People asked me all before the surgery if I was nervous, and for some reason, I wasn't up until the 30 seconds before they put me under.. I knew in my heart that this was the way I needed to go, and my head and heart agreed..

Reflection #6:  Facebook is annoying most of the time.. Until it helps you meet people that you normally wouldn't have ever met because they live far away..  I have several people that I consider friends and they don't live anywhere near me.. Gives me good reasons to travel.. :)

Reflection #7:  This year was hard, in general.. I was going to say battling depression, but I didn't really battle it.. I succumbed to it.. My social anxiety too.. But with my car accident and the robbing of my house, I'd say it was a somewhat crappy year.. Yes, there were some good times, and it is ending on a high note, but for the most part there was more bad than good.. 2013 will be more good than bad, I swear to myself..

Reflection #8:  The Indianapolis Colts, despite having an all new team this year and basically being predicted to suck ass, have pulled a fast one on all those haters and came out shining!  I was sad to see Peyton Manning leave at the beginning of this year, especially to the Denver Broncos, but I was happy to see that this didn't make too much of an overall impact on the team in the long run.. GO COLTS!!

Reflection #9:  This blog was supposed to be about my FABULOUS LIFE.. Not just about weight loss.. so my goal for 2013 is to get out more and try new things.. and BLOG ABOUT THEM!  lol.. Because blogging about ONLY weight loss is boring.. and I'm sure most people don't want to read all about that crap.. :)

I hope everyone has a wonderful AND SAFE New Years Eve, and gets 2013 started right.. Whatever that may mean to you..

Rough 48 Hours..

Okay, I'll be honest.. because that's what this blog is for right?!  The last 48 hours of eating have been rough.. Lots of carbs.. protein too, but most of my meals were carb-based meals.. After making Christmas cookies, to essentially give away, I ate about 5 or 6 of them (mostly last night to keep myself awake at work).. I made myself sick because I ate so much sugar and carbs, not literally but I don't wanna see another sugar cookie for a while.. lol

While I don't want to get into that kind of habit again, it obviously was what my body needed to push myself back into weight loss, because since my last weigh in on Saturday (at 244.8), I've lost 4 lbs!  I've heard about kicking up your calories for a week to jump start your weight loss again, but I've never tried it (on purpose that is).. So I'm back to eating protein packed foods, drinking my skim chocolate milk, and taking my vitamins like I should.. :)

How are you all planning to keep the weight off over the holidays?  I'm going to make sure I eat as much protein first and as little carbs as possible.. It helps that I can't eat bread, and that really sugary things make my stomach hurt just to think about them..

I'm finding all sorts of recipes that I want to try on Pinterest.. I can't wait to start the new year..

Pinterest Plans..

If you are like me, you're in love with Pinterest and have 100's of pins that you've never looked at twice.. lol.. Well, my plan for 2013 is to do the following with Pinterest:

Wanna check out my pins/boards?! Click the Pinterest logo..

** Make one recipe a week from my "Food Ideas" board..
** Make one thing a month from my "I Want To Make" board..
** Try at least one thing per week from my "Fitness Stuff" board..
** Implement at least one thing from my "Money Saving Ideas" board..
** Do one thing per month from my "Organizing Ideas" board..

And blog about each one!  Because that is what we do, right?!  Until 2013 rolls in, I plan to print out all the recipes, and hopefully plan out as much of this as possible..

I'm excited to learn new things and teach myself how to cook better.. :)

What are you looking forward to most about 2013??

In A Perfect World..

In MY perfect world..

There is no doubt in a higher power (whatever it may be to you)..
Cupcakes and cookies don't make you fat..
Everyone would find their soul mate..
Exercise would make us look awesome right away.. 
There are no children dying..
There are no people dying because someone else made a bad decision..
Parents would take care of their children before anything else..
Unemployment wouldn't be a problem..
The world wouldn't be in the state it is in..

Today's tragedy is just one more reason why I'm not sure I want to have children any time soon.. Yes, I realize it's not really an issue right now, but you know what I mean..  I don't watch the news for a reason.. It never says anything good, does it?!  There is never stories about the people who have become U.S. Citizens, or about how many people have found jobs in *this much time*.. It's about how people are dying, or how the weather is wrecking havoc on our county..

I hate that anyone has to worry about if they'll see their loved ones tomorrow.. I truly would love to say that I am untouched by this recent shooting, but I'd be lying.. When I saw this news story, my first thought was "I hope they kill that bastard".. Yes, I thought that.. I may lose followers over my opinion of this, but my stance is that if you kill even one child ("accident" or not) you deserve to die..  But the government doesn't think that's "humane".. What is humane about someone taking a child's life?!  And now I just found out that they found the body of a 19 year old that's been missing for 3 months.. When will the killing end??

Okay, enough darkness..

Tomorrow is my father's 50th birthday!  Shocking, but true.. I am a creative person, so I made him a diaper cake.. :)  Wanna see it?!  Well, here it is..

It's got all sorts of adult diapers in it.. plus some "50" suckers, Warning tape and a magnifying glass.. :)  I also got him an inflatable walker for a gag.. lol

I'm hoping he'll have a great birthday.. :)

Too Early to Set Goals for 2013?

According to the Mayans, the world is gonna end before we even get to New Years Eve.. but I don't believe them and I'm gonna plan my goals out for 2013 like I would if it were any other year..  And I will make sure to get as many of them done as financially possible.. :)

Here are a couple of them.. Check out the rest, which I'll be updating for the rest of December when I come up with ideas, of them on my 30 by 30 page.. And feel free to leave suggestions in my comments.. 

** Get back into running
** Learn to box
** Go to Vegas for 30th birthday
** See at least 4 shows/concerts
** Move into my own place
** Find a full-time job (hopefully within hospital)

Short and sweet entry today.. I'm off to bed now.. :)

"Battle" Scars

Well, I've been meaning to do this for a while but I kept putting it off (basically bc I didn't want to show anyone my chubby belly still).. lol.. No more though.. While I'm posting my pics from surgery on a seperate page (for the people that really don't want to see that kind of thing), so if you want to see the interesting pics, click here..

But this is just a pic of my belly, as of today, and how I'm healing..  So here we go!

Seven total holes, and thankfully they are all healing well.. My belly button took a while, well it's been about a month, but figuring how gross belly buttons are..... I've been cotton swabbing this thing twice a day and putting Neosporin in it to make sure I don't get any kind of infection.. lol

So Close..

Well, I just hit my one month pre-op date.. and I'm kinda mad, kinda happy.. We all know how that is, right?!  I'm mad because I haven't lost as much as I'd hoped to lose in the first month, but I'm happy because I lost a lot of weight despite having TWO TOM's.. So here's the recap for the month, weigh in wise:

Month 1: -27.8 lbs

I'm so close to 30 lbs I can taste it!  But the main reason I'm mad is because I haven't really been following the "rules" too much.. Yes, I have been getting my 60 grams of protein in a day.. but I looked at my menu thing they gave me, and it says no more than 4 oz per meal.. I know for a fact that I was eating more than that at some meals.. I mean, one of the chicken breasts I eat is 5oz by itself..

As I look back though, I get full and wait a bit, then eat some more.. and that's not good at all..  I need to follow the "rules" for as long as I can, to maximize my weight loss.. I was also afraid that doing my workout on the Wii wasn't a good idea bc I felt icky the next day.. But after it wore off, I knew it was just all the crap floating around..

Oh yeah, what is with this flu epidemic that seems to have hit EVERYWHERE?!  Seriously, I just want to put out a box of yellow masks at my door and tell people to stay the hell away from me if they even have the sniffles.. lol.. I have had my flu shot, and hopefully won't get this crappy thing..  I don't like to throw up in any way/shape/form.. Ick!

Well, I'm off to enjoy my weekend.. All these birds chirping makes me wonder if they are as confused about the weather as Mother Nature is.. and I may take advantage of it and go for a bike ride.. :)

Kickin' It Old School..

And by old school, I mean the Original Just Dance game.. lol

 

Y'all remember this game right?!  Well, while my Wii was stolen (thanks to my dumb ass neighbors), my grandmother was nice enough to give me her rarely used one.. THANK YOU GRANDMA!!  I got it out of the box (yes, she still had the box 3 years later.. hehe) and did all the beginning stuff yesterday.. But I didn't get to work out with it until today (bc I'm a slacker, but I'm working on it), and boy did I forget how fun this game was..

I did 5 full songs (bc the short version should come with a "you're a sissy, just do the full version" pop up with it) and I was winded after the 3rd one.. I was determined to do 30 minutes of it (only did 25 because I forgot to look at the clock before starting), and then went to make dinner.. :)

Well, I got my workout in.. WOOHOO!!

I Want A Money Tree For Christmas..

Yep, if those actually existed, I'd want one for Christmas.. And so would everyone else I'm sure.. It'd be the hottest thing out there, instead of Furbies.. lol.. but no, seriously, my money flow is trickling down it seems..

It doesn't help that my full time job is not getting me ANY hours, and hasn't for the past 1.5 weeks.. I'm about to quit, if I could find a job to do instead of it.. ** Just called a place that I saw online, and all their appointments were booked.. geez!! **  I embarrassingly had to put back my two angels I got off the angel tree (which makes me mad and makes me sad), and I'm selling things I can no longer fit into (thank goodness) so that my bills get paid..

Thankfully, we are getting paid this week, and while it won't be much, it'll be enough to pay what I have to pay this week.. PLUS, we're getting a bonus next week!!  So that extra money will keep me going for a couple more weeks.. But if I don't start working next week at my full-time job, I'm gonna be in trouble come January..

Anyone have any ideas??  I hate looking for jobs (partly bc of my ADHD, partly bc it just sucks ass), but I will bc I can't afford to just sit at home.. unless I got to work from home, which would be fabulous, right?!  lol.. in my dreams!

I'm just worrying prematurely I think, but it's what I do.. I worry that I won't be able to pay for my car payment, or that something will happen while I'm on limited funds and I'll be screwed.. It's a battle I have with myself anymore.. If you'd have seen me 5 years ago, you'd never think I'd be like this.. 5 years ago, I couldn't have cared less if I could have paid my rent on time or any of my bills.. I just wanted to have fun whenever I could..  Job?!  Oh, I had one, but I didn't care about it and I called in frequently.. and eventually quit for an easier (and less hours) job..  I'm amazed that my friend and roomie didn't kill me back then.. :(

I am more mature now, and that means I have mature responsibilities.. aka paying my bills, keeping my job, not calling in, etc..  And if I want to move in February, I can't move knowing that I'm only working 23 hours a week (if that)..

Any ideas??

Playing the Waiting Game..

As I sit here looking at the calendar, I'm amazed that it's almost been a month since I had my surgery.. It doesn't seem like that long ago, but then again it seems like forever ago.. lol.. and while my doctor said something about not working out for 6 weeks, I plan to call tomorrow to ask what their definition of "working out" is.. I truly can't stand waiting two more weeks to do something more than walking and riding my bike..

Another thing I'm waiting on is weighing myself again.. I plan to weigh in on Friday for my 1 month weight loss.. I'm hoping to hit the 30 lb mark.. :)  That would make my two TOM's worth it, I guess.. lol.. In case you don't follow my FB page, I ate pizza yesterday.. I ate 1/2 a Totino's Party pizza.. in three hours.. lol.. I will probably not do that for a long time.. It was nice to know I could eat it, and it was yummy, but I don't want to get into the habit of eating pizza again..

Back a long time ago, I signed up for Match.com.. I keep getting daily match emails and I just laugh at some of the people they match me with.. I say that because some I went to school with (either high school or college), and some I used to work with (and know for a fact that they are douches!).. I love when I get emails that say "You've been checked out __ times".. It makes me giggle every time..  I'm not sure if I plan to join it or eharmony, but I will not be single NEXT New Years.. :)

Well, It's Official..

I might be getting back my "Picture Whore" mojo!  lol.. I started out this entry like the rest of them for the past few weeks.. it was all about food and post-surgery talk.. Yep, I deleted the whole thing (only a couple of paragraphs, but still) and decided I was gonna talk about something totally unrelated to food and post-surgery anything..

Back when I was my thinnest, in June 2007, I took pictures of myself ALL THE TIME!  I seriously had probably 1,000+ pictures of myself (sometimes with other people, sometimes by myself) at that time.. Of course, I also smiled in all of them..

That time of my life, end of 2006 to mid-2007, was the happiest I've been in a long time.. I moved home at the end of 2007, because I started to get chubby and depressed around September..  I am finally getting to where I am happy a lot more, and actually enjoying going places..  This past weekend, I went to the Columbus Festival of Lights parade with my besties Amanda and Cassie (and their brood of kiddos) and was so happy to be out..

While I know I've only lost a bit of weight, I'm happy that it's happening FINALLY!  And it just took surgery!  ;)  But this picture is one of many that I plan to take in the future..

Well, I'm off to go finish my Katherine Hiegl marathon.. lol.. Oh, on a small food note, I can now eat anything normal people can eat!  YAY!!  Hope you all had a great weekend.. I know I did..

I'm Out of the 250's!!

I'm so happy!!  I was worried that when I weighed myself this morning I was going to be disappointed.. because I am now on TOM #2 for the month.. :(  But I was seriously surprised when I saw the numbers looking up at me from the scale:

248.2

YAY!!  I haven't been this small in over a year!  If not longer.. I cannot be happier right now!!  I've been trying to eat properly (aka: protein first, veggies second, then carbs) and keeping my sugar count down.. and doing my mom's weighted hula hoop that she doesn't use anymore.. lol

I looked back and it's been about 14 months (possibly more) since I was this size.. and I can't wait to see the 230's.. maybe by the 10th of December??  Who knows with this surgery.. It's interesting though to explain all this to my friends who have no idea about this surgery..

I met my "little" C yesterday for lunch, with her beautiful little girl, and I told her not to worry about what she ate in front of me.. She was kind of confused but agreed.. I ordered grilled chicken tenders, pinto beans and hashbrown casserole (we ate at Cracker Barrel)..  I ate two chicken tenders, a couple bites of pinto beans and one bite of hashbrown casserole..  Then proceeded to put the rest of it into a box.. She then understood what I meant earlier.. I get full so easily now.. OH, not to mention the disappearing water trick I do.. lol

My waitress came up to refill my water glass that I'd almost finished while waiting for our food, and I told her I didn't need anymore and that I'd hid it so I wouldn't try to drink while I ate.. She kinda laughed and said okay.. This is the only way I know how to make sure I don't drink while eating.. To keep it out of my line of sight.. Because the alternative is not an option for me.. ick!

But C is currently preggo with TWINS!!  So I told her to eat up and don't worry about me.. and then proceeded to tell her (without grossing her out) what all goes on with my surgery.. and what I can and cannot eat.. Like how eggs just aren't agreeing with me..

That reminds me!  I have a page on Facebook that I've been posting a lot to.. If you'd like to "like" it and follow my progress there, please click here.. :)  You don't have to though.. It's okay.. I still love you, my follower.. lol

Well, I'm off to work a bit, then do my laundry.. :(  Have a wonderful Thursday!

Full Bar trial.. Part One..

Well, as I sit here and wonder what I'm going to do with my Saturday night (prolly do research for a paper, yay me), I realize that I forgot to blog about an opportunity that was offered to me..

Has anyone NOT heard of Fullbar??  Just wondering.. If you haven't, here's a video of one of their commercials..

Now, when I got the email about trying out Fullbar products, I actually thought it was a scam.. Seriously, I haven't been back to blogging that long and these people want to give me free stuff to try?  Sure, let's see if it's real..  That basically was my internal conversation..  So when I actually got the box and found it had all sorts of goodies in it, I was shocked.. and excited!

I've seen the commercials for Fullbar, and of course, I was one of the ones that said "yeah, right".. but I'm going to keep an open mind while trying these things.. And honestly, I could use a different way to get protein.. Especially since I'm supposed to be getting 60-70 grams a day!  I'm probably getting a little over half that.. on a good day..

The package contained a lot of different products..  The bars I knew about.. The rest I had no idea about.. Here are pics of the box and all the stuff it contained..

When I opened the box, first thing I saw was a letter to me..

Just look at all these goodies!!  All for me!!

The box ended up containing 2 packs of Fullbar gum, a bag of Fullbites (cheddar flavor), 6 packs of gummies, and 8 different Fullbar's to try..

I'm excited to try the Fullbar's.. They gave me 4 different flavors to try: Peanut Butter crunch, Chocolate Caramel, Double Chocolate and my favorite flavor, Cranberry Almond..  They seem to be very soft, which I was worried about bc I can't have "normal" foods until the 2nd of December.. So I'm excited to see how these work and if they'll help me get more protein into my daily eating.. Almost put diet.. eek!

I have stopped weighing myself daily.. With TOM being around and all that, I was getting mad at my body when I know better.. However, I have had several NSV's since I quit weighing..

NSV #1: I can now fit, comfortably, back into my XL scrub tops and pants.. GOODBYE 2XL SCRUBS!!  WOOHOO!!

NSV #2:  I am currently fitting into my size 18 skinny jeans.. that means I've lost 2 pant sizes in the past 2 1/2 weeks.. :)  This will always make me happier than seeing a number on a scale..

My goal is not a weight.. It's more of a size.. If I can go between a 10 and a 12, I'll be happy forever..

Thankfully, I'm back at work, and my weight restrictions have been lifted.. I went for a bike ride today and plan to lift 5 lb weights while watching a movie in a bit, bc while I can't do hardcore exercising (aka nothing where I bounce) for 3 1/2 more weeks, I can lift weights to keep my arms from going chicken on me.. lol

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and a wonderful weekend!  :)

Well, I Didn't See That Coming..

Yesterday and today have been eye opening, and it's not even 9am..

Yesterday I had the pleasure of realizing why people without gall bladders shouldn't eat fatty food.. Anyone ever taken that weight loss pill Alli??  Well, if ya have, you know what I'm getting to.. If ya haven't, well basically the pill keeps your body from absorbing the fat from food.. Eat a particularly greasy meal, and you have to worry about pooping (or even farting) the grease out.. It's not really a good thing..  Well, I've learned my lesson, I think..  That was disgusting..

Yesterday I also got in the most protein since I've been home..  With everything, I ended up with a little over 60 grams of protein.. YAY!!  I just really hope that I can do that soon (as in like 6 months from now) without the smoothie.. Bc that protein powder can get expensive.. :(

Today, I weighed myself and was shocked to see 257.0.. NO WAY!!  So I realized it was on a bad part of our floor (it bows in certain places) and moved it.. it said 255.0 the second and third time..  This makes me mad because I went to the bathroom all the time last night.. but then again, I haven't been walking as much as I should.. :(  It's just so cold!!

But I'm going to suck it up and make sure I walk as soon as I get to my parents house in a couple hours.. I'd do it now, but I have to run and get a Dairy Queen cake and make it back to my parents house before noon..

Honestly, walking is so boring to me.. I'd much rather ride my bike or run!  I can't wait to go back to work, so I can use their gym or possibly get a gym membership up there.. Because walking/running outside is for the birds.. lol..at least when it's cold..

Well, I'm off to get ready to leave.. Have a wonderful Sunday.. and GO COLTS!!

It's Beginning To Look..

A lot like Thanksgiving time..

Yeah, yeah, yeah.. I know that's not how the song goes.. lol.. but my brother, SIL, and niece are in town FINALLY for Thanksgiving and they bring their kitty with them.. Long story short, we're trading kitties.. Well, the one they brought isn't into traveling so she puked in the car.. and I was the one up at 5:30 am going over to give her a bath bc she stank.. Geez!!  Can I just say I've never really given a cat a bath.. and this one was pretty nice, no scratches, no mad dashes to get out of the tub sopping wet..

But I then went to bed on my mom's new mattress, and it's one of the new ones that come out of a box and they're filled with air?!  Have you ever heard of theses??  She got hers from WalMart, and I now want one.. They are super comfortable and you don't get any springs in bad places!  lol.. but seriously, best 5 hours of sleep I've had in a while.. :)

Totally forgot to weigh in yesterday, and this morning of course, but remembered before I started writing this, so I'm back down to 255.0..  And I'm sure my chicken rings and cheese sticks had something to do with it.. Weirdly enough, I now have a slightly annoying pain where one of my stitches sites is.. I'm not too worried, because it only hurts when I over do it.. but I will be calling my doctor on Monday (damn this happening on a weekend!)..

Well, I'm off to go make some smoothies now that I bought frozen fruit.. :)

Have a wonderful weekend!

It's Finally Here!!

My brother is officially 27.. lol.. No, that's not really what I meant by the title, but it is his birthday.. So happy birthday, little brother!!

On to why I really am excited.. As 80% of the female population is excited, Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 is finally here!  Some people saw the whole saga one right after another.. I can't sit that long right now, so that wasn't an option, nor do I think it would have been if I hadn't had surgery recently.. lol

I am SO Team Edward.. and somehow forgot to wear my old Team Edward tshirt.. Damn!  But no, I have been waiting for this movie for a while, and it was worth the wait.. LOVED IT!!  No, I won't give any spoilers.. I just wanted to say that I'd seen it.. and will probably see it again too (with other family members)..

Today was interesting because my bestie, Amanda, got some chicken rings and I got some mozzerella sticks from White Castle.. I can eat the cheese, and while it probably wasn't the healthiest route to go, it went well.. Except when it came to the greasy part.. Yep, thankfully we went to the theater early enough to get all the bathroom stuff done before the movie started.. Plus, I only ate 2 and gave the other one to the birds.. lol

After the movie, I was kinda hungry, so I asked Manda if I could have two of her chicken rings.. I wanted to see if I could eat them.. Slowly, very slowly, I was able to eat both of them.. and was full after.. I'm happy with that.. 2 cheesesticks, full.. 2 chicken rings, full.. and because I'm a cheapskate when it comes to wasting food, I will probably never eat there on my own anymore.. because I will not be able to eat their smallest meals.. And that is VERY okay with me.. :)

Well, I'm home and I'm exhausted.. Definitely need a nap.. Tata for now..

How Could I Forget..

How volatile my body is when I'm on my period.. Oh, yeah.. It's gonna be one of those kinds of posts people.. I only lost .4 lbs yesterday then I wake up to a 2.6 lb GAIN?!  I should not be gaining ANYTHING any time soon.. I'm eating like 600 calories a day!  Which makes me realize that it's just bc of Mother Nature.. Well, Mother Nature, I have 2 words for you:

FUCK OFF!!

(oh, and go away!)

So as I sit here trying to tell myself not to freak out, and to make sure I get a walk in today, I am also trying to eat a little yogurt.. Yesterday's eating was kind of screwed up.. I say that because I didn't get a lot of protein in.. :(  I didn't really eat breakfast, then tried to get some protein with some chocolate milk.. Not working.. It's so thick I just can't drink much of it.. So I went to Cracker Barrell to get some sides of veggies.. Not working.. while green beans are a good choice, broccoli casserole, mashed potatoes, and hashbrown casserole were not.. Not to mention that I tried to eat some later, reheated, and almost had my first "I'm gonna throw up" incident bc of something being too dry to go down..

At 7 days post-op, I wasn't thinking that was an option.. I can not wait until my follow-up appointment with my surgeon on Tuesday.. hoping he can tell me I'll be allowed to start introducing more exercise into my life.. I miss doing something more than WALKING!!  Seriously, I would rather walk on a treadmill than walk around scenery.. At least with the treadmill I can watch tv, right?!

My mom is great with this whole surgery.. She's making meals that I can eat a little of.. Like yesterday, I had a little minced sausage, some boiled cabbage and a little mac n cheese.. It was awesome.. and took me an hour or more to eat.. lol.. Now while I may be bloating, I did fit into my Size large Fangtasia shirt finally.. :)

So, my first NSV, I guess!  YAY!!  Well, I'm off to go do a little cleaning with my vaccuum.. bc I can now and my house is kinda gross.. lol

Well Played Mother Nature..

Well after yesterday's not so stellar loss of .6 lbs, I was wondering if it'd be a permanent thing (bc I have no idea how slow or fast this can go), but it seems that yesterday was a fluke of sorts.. today I am at 254.6, so almost another 3 lbs.. I'm literally .2 lbs away from hitting the 20 lb mark.. and it's sad that I still have yet to drop sizes.. :(

Sad because I was warned that it might take a little bit.. BUT you can see my waistline again (several family members agree), and I had to adjust my eye glasses because they kept falling down my nose.. But yesterday Mother Nature came calling..... TWO WEEKS EARLY!!  I want to scream!  But I guess it's what we women do.. :(

My overall hope is that I can throw away my 2XL work clothes (or give away the ones that are still looking nice) before I go to work next Thursday.. One can always hope, right?!  Oh speaking of next Thursday, I've decided to bring my little bullet blender with me to Thanksgiving and grind up some turkey in some gravy so I can have it.. :)  I really like turkey, so this is a way to help me have a little.. plus all the veggies I can eat too, and mashed potatoes.. It will be a great Thanksgiving.. and Christmas!  I can't wait to start the next year in a new pants size!  lol

Well after yesterday's trip school, and the 5 hours until I got back home, I have decided to not make plans for today.. By the time yesterday was over, I was hurting.. Mainly because I used to plop into my car, and I can't really do that anymore..  Plus, sitting in class for 3 hours watching a movie is just not okay.. I need to remember to get up and walk around a bit..  Ugh!  I basically have to learn new habits.. for the better though.. :)

Well, I'm going back to bed.. Just because I can.. lol

Well, That's Dissapointing..

After the past couple days of continuous 3 lb losses, I woke up hoping to put that I'd hit the 20 lb mark.. but I only lost .6 lbs since yesterday.. and while I know it's bc my body is prolly full of crap (yes, I just talked about poop! lol) and the stuff I TRIED to eat yesterday, I'm trying not to be too sad..

The one thing I have been noticing is that when I sleep, it's like my body turns into a sauna!  Seriously, I wake up in the morning and I have to take a shower bc my hair is all sweaty.. Ick!!  I feel a little like this doll when I wake up for the past couple days..  Lol

But no, seriously, I'm happy that I've already lost so much weight.. Sadly, I'm a doofus who forgot to take measurements BEFORE surgery, so I'm hoping I can talk one of my parents into helping me take them today or tomorrow before I lose too much more weight..

I've found it so much easier to take in water/juices over the last 24 hours.. and by this I mean that I finished a 6oz glass of juice in 30 minutes.. lol.. But I wouldn't have been able to finish that a couple days ago.. Now if only I could start eating all 2oz of the food I'm supposed to eat.. And why I'm annoyed with that, I'm not sure.. I know my stomach is still tender and getting used to food, but seriously, it's like that last bite or two just won't fit.. lol

Oh!  I found on the ObesityHelps website that someone else had bought a Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies cookbook!  I should have known that there would be one of those.. lol.. so I bought it and one other cookbook for Weight Loss Surgery.. Hoping they'll be here by Wednesday.. :)

Can't Help But Wonder...

What it would feel like to pop a staple.. not that I WANT to, but they warn you that you could pop one, but never what could MAKE you pop a staple..

I made the mistake of eating a 3.2oz serving of the squeeze packet applesauce (yes, the ones supposedly for babies.. lol).. I ate it all without thinking about the size.. Yes, it took me about an hour.. Yes, I felt it for about an hour later (and if I wasn't so squeamish about barfing, I prolly would have done so).. and yes, I truly have learned my lesson..  I'm measuring everything out now in bowls.. and will only eat 1/2 of one of the applesauces a day..

I also realized that the majority of my fluids are supposed to be sugar-free.. and I've been drinking a lot of Powerade and juices (50% diluted).. and I think I was just drinking like I was when I was on my liquid diet.. but now I'm supposed to keep my sugars down, which makes sense.. So my plan is to make all my Powerades diluted and keep my juice to 4oz (8oz with water)/day.. And I'm keeping my V8 fusion bc it's a way to make sure I'm getting at least one serving of fruit and one serving of veggies, even if it takes me all day to drink it.. lol

Well after only 4 days (I was told it should take 5 to 7 days), my pain pump is empty.. so I just removed it.. Yes, by myself.. If you've ever had one of these, you know how weird it is to remove these.. and I had two different hoses to take out, which I'm not sure is normal, so it was that much weirder.. lol.. So I am officially off anything that could make driving unsafe for others.. While I'm still wary of driving bc of my healing, I'm glad that I have the ability to drive myself to the store if I have something..

Tried to get my dad to finally air up the tires on my bike (that I bought mid-summer), but he said no.. Dang it!  I forgot that he went through this with my mom.. He knows when I'm allowed to increase my activity.. Which isn't for two weeks.. So for the next 11 days, I'm stuck with walking.. :(  I'm already SO BORED with walking..

My First {Mushy} Meal

As I sit here eating my first mushy meal, Weight Watchers Maple Brown Sugar oatmeal, with 1/2 scoop of BodybyVi Vanilla protein powder (should have put 2 in it), I'm realizing that I'm basically going to be eating 2-3 bites of everything for now.. which is really going to make me mad, bc I'm definitely not okay wasting that much food..

Oh, and did I mention that my food scale bit the dust?! Yep, I'm supposed to eat a certain amount (or eventually get up to that amount) and I now can't measure that way.. so I guess until I get another one, it's measuring the old fashioned way.. with TSP's and TBSP's.. lol

On a very happy note, I'm down another 3 lbs since yesterday.. I checked it 4 times because I almost fell off the scale the first time (hey, I was just waking up! lol) and it said 259.4, so I weighed 3 more times and it stuck with 258.0.. so I'm ecstatic.. Also, I think my pain pump is almost done.. I'm going to have my mom look at it later today (as she should remember what it should look like).. Oh, and another good thing, I CAN LAY ON MY SIDES AGAIN!!  My left side still hurts a little, but if I curl up in fetal position, it doesn't hurt that bad..

The fun (not so much) part of starting out with mushy foods is that I have to train myself to not drink for 30 minutes after I'm done eating.. Bc if I do it too early, my body will dump all the food and drink that I just had, and that my dear readers is not pleasant.. If you'd like to know what I'm talking about, bc I'm not gonna go into details, check out the Mayo Clinic's definiton..  It's supposedly not pretty.. :(  And I'd definitely like to avoid that..

My plans today include: making white chocolate SF pudding with tons of protein powder in it; seeing about my pain pump (and hopefully taking it out, yes by myself), cleaning up a little (because my recuperating butt has been a little TOO lazy) and definitely going for a walk..

Happy Veteran's Day, to all the Veteran's and your families!  I am grateful to each and every one of you for your sacrifices to keep our country safe.. :)

Day 3 and 4..

This has been an amazing journey, and I'm only 4 days into it.. I can't imagine how much this is going to change my life down the road..  I'm planning to post my surgery pics on a "page" so people have the option to look at them.. and they are kinda graphic.. along with my current pics of my surgery sites..  They really are amazing, seeing as my surgery was done by a DiVinci robot!  This is why I was in and out of the hospital in 24 hours..

Yesterday was an interesting day.. I was sick of being stuck in this house, by myself.. so I text my mom and grandma that we were going to get pedicures at 3:30, no questions, no saying no.. lol.. so we all got pedi's and enjoyed talking about things (like the fact that I had yet to fart.. sorry, but I was really worried).. I was done earlier than my mom, so I went down the strip mall to the BMV to get my drivers license renewed and transfer my plates over to my new car..  Wasn't that far a walk, but for someone that has walked around a hospital ward 3 times max, it was kinda long.. so I waited for my mom and then we went to Wal-Mart.. that was probably a big mistake..  But I really needed things..

Well, we finally made it to her house, where she was sweet enough to do all my laundry (as small as the loads were) and we watch the new Spider Man movie while it was going.. I had a popsicle (and found out cold doesn't really effect my stomach like others claim it should) and some McDonald's tea.. that's when it started to hit me.. I got so nauseated.. and I'm not one to let myself vomit, so I just tried to help it pass.. I knew it was gas, but I knew if I burped stuff could come up with it.. Well, my friend Cassie came over and got me and we hung out at my house and chatted for a couple hours until I was about to pass out..

During that time, I FINALLY FARTED!! Yes, I realize how stupid and embarrassing this sounds, but I was so relieved that it finally happened.. plus, as soon as I did it, I felt so much better.. during this time, my belly was making funny noises, and my somewhat pessimistic side was wondering if I could have a leak.. EEK!  But it finally calmed down and it was all just gas, which I've been told will be an issue for the rest of my life.. :(

But today I woke up, after not taking my Lortab pain meds (I'm anti-narcotics), and felt 110% better.. It doesn't hurt to get out of bed this morning.. It doesn't hurt to bend over anymore.. I'm ecstatic.. So I'm planning to go for a walk around the lake later today.. See if I can keep this process going.. OH!  I'm super happy that tomorrow I get to start eating mushy foods!!  I can't wait to be able to chew something!  Sad, but I can honestly say I'm not craving any foods or hungry at all.. I just miss chewing something (especially since I've banned gum bc I have a habit of swallowing it).. 

Well, I'm out of here.. Oh, if you are interested in my daily weigh in's, I am posting them on the side of my blog.. :)

Surgery and Discharged..

Well, as most of you know, yesterday was my surgery.. Along with my 29th birthday.. I figured I'd give all of you a brief recap of my last 30 hours or so..

Wednesday morning, at 7:00am (because my surgery was moved up due to a cancellation), I went to go pee in a cup to make sure I wasn't preggers.. lmao.. If I were, I'd be suing the makers of this IUD, plus whoever had sex with me without my knowledge.. ;)  But I went up to surgery and they came and got me around 7:30 to go into prep and all that..

Got TWO IV's in my hands (still not to sure why), but it took two different people to get them started bc my veins were tiny supposedly.. So note to self, don't try doing drugs.. lol.. but after they got them started, I waited about 2 hours to get into surgery.. My surgeon came in to talk to me, an anesthesiologist came to explain some stuff, and then around 9:30ish, they rolled me back there.. Surprisingly enough, I wasn't anxious until they took me away from my mom and grandma..

Thank goodness for wonderful Surgical Techs, anesthesiologists, and nurses.. Because they made it easier on me the whole ten minutes I was awake.. Don't remember anything about recovery, don't remember anything about getting moved to 2S, the floor I was staying on.. But I remember waking up sometime around 1 and seeing my mom and grandma there.. I think my dad was there by then too..

They gave me the pictures of my organs and my stomach after surgery.. Which I find totally fascinating..  Then I was on water all day and night.. Pure tap water.. UGH!  I got a lot more than I expected to get down, plus they were running saline bags too.. So I got up and down a lot, plus walking the hallways about every 2 hours..  By this morning, I was up to 3 laps.. Should have used my Fitbit while I was there to count my steps..

I noticed on my board in my room that I was to be discharged TODAY.. I was expecting tomorrow, but I was feeling better and kinda ready to go home..  So around 12 today, I got home from the hospital.. And got some presents.. New Tinkerbell scrub tops, and a new roller chair, since mine is breaking.. Took a 4 hour nap, and now I'm writing this.. Afterwards, I'm gonna go walk a little outside.. don't want any blood clots..

Tomorrow I will start posting daily weights, if anyone is interested..  TTFN! :)

Countdown Is On..

Wasn't sure how to title this one, either "Day one of liquid diet" or "Two days left".. so I just went with something about a countdown.. lol..

So, as the almost titles suggest, today is day 1 of my 2 day liquid diet.. and it's not been half bad.. the automatic pilot I have to go to McDonald's on my way to work (while it's only to get an unsweetened tea and ice cream cone) is hard, but I'm getting used to it.. I hope I'm doing it right, bc while I'm sticking with plain liquids, I'm not sure how clear these liquids have to be.. lol

I've been trying to get my iPhone 4 to turn into a mobile hotspot, bc my internet at work isn't free.. so I eventually (after trying several different ideas) got the $20/month mobile hotspot from VZ.. :(  But at least I will have internet service out in the boonies where I work..  Not too happy to be paying them more money, but it beats getting a new line and all that crap..  But, I almost missed my PACE appointment bc I forgot my alarms were on my phone..

Went to sleep this morning (after working the night before) and set my alarm for 1, as my appointment was at 2.. woke up at 1:49pm and booked it to my appointment.. they were great enough to still do the appointment.. did some blood work, ran an EKG (which looked pretty, according to the Nurse), and gave me this gel stuff to take a shower with before my surgery.. It should be interesting to see what it is, but whatever keeps me from getting any hospital superbugs, I'm game..

Oh!  Some of you all follow me on Facebook, so you'll already know this.. I was robbed last Friday..  Yep, I was shocked.. and seriously didn't notice until I was sitting at my desk and looked at my laundry I had done the night before.. and it was sitting sideways instead of up and down.. Actually thought my dad had used it for some reason.. then I noticed other things out of place and then noticed the missing things..

Weirdly enough, they didn't get my laptop, but they did go through the bag and take my iPod and speakers.. took a bunch of other things, but nothing that can't be replaced.. Sadly, I know who did it, but can't prove it.. :(

Well, I'm off to warm up some chicken broth and relax a little before I have to get busy at work.. Good night, peeps!

Things Aren't Quite Right..

Just wanted to let everyone know what's going on with my surgery and life in general...

** My surgery was rescheduled from yesterday to next Wednesday, November 7th at 12noon.. Which, for any of you that have been paying attention, is my 29th birthday!!  What a way to bring in a new year, right?!

** Over the past few months, I've noticed that certain things just don't taste right anymore.. I can't stand fast food french fries (as in I won't even buy them anymore), milk is just gross to me (which isn't really new, but different), and tonight I found out that Oreo's are gross now!!  :(

** I've been working so much lately.. hoping that I will be okay when I don't work for two weeks, financially.. I started a new client last Thursday night.. and haven't had a night off since.. until tonight (even though they tried to call me in tonight)..  I'm actually getting ready to go to bed now.. YAY!

** I'm trying to think of ways to get through my two days of only liquids.. Any ideas?  I've got chicken broth, popsicles, tea bags, jello.. I'm hoping I can do it, since I have to work one night shift and one day shift while I'm on it..  eek!

** Thanks to Pinterest, I'm so stocked up on protein ideas.. and decorating ideas.. and craft ideas.. lol

Well, that's it for now.. I'm off to bed, hoping that this headache will go away by the time I wake up..

Let's Go Back a Little..

Not a long time ago.. Just like a month ago.. To September 28th.. I know I mentioned it in my previous post, but I also know that to some people, pictures are better than words..  Weirdly enough, that day changed my world.. Mostly for the better, in the long run.. 

The part of the highway I was on is a popular crash spot.. But I was actually running a little late to get to my second job when someone (a 19 year old girl) pulled out in front of me, and I t-boned her car.. And people are right when they say it goes like slow motion.. I can remember a lot about it, and the fact that I was tall (and fat) prolly saved me a lot of issues.. The airbag didn't hit my face, it hit my chest.. So no broken facial bones, only a bruised sternum.. and the seatbelt didn't do anything to my spleen, just some nasty seatbelt bruising..

It was definitely a day of firsts for me.. 1st injury car accident, 1st ambulance ride (with thankfully really fun EMT's), 1st time being on a backboard (those things are annoying).. and surprisingly enough, I didn't have a panic attack.. YAY!

My mom told me my car was pretty mangled in the front but I had no idea what it looked like til the next day.. My poor car.. It would have been all mine in February.. That's what made me the maddest about this whole car wreck.. I'm glad I was okay, but my car was basically done for..

Thankfully, because it was her fault I didn't have to do much.. Their insurance is pretty awesome about getting me a rental car, because I drive for a living.. and while one of my jobs threatened my job (a dumb misunderstanding), I only missed out on two nights of work..  I'm grateful that it wasn't worse..

I've never had a rental car before, seeing as I've never needed one..  so when I got this rental car, I was shocked at what it looked like.. You see, I've never driven a brand new vehicle before.. not for more than a test drive that is.. lol.. and boy was this one nice to drive..

I called it a trash can car, bc it was so boxy.. lol.. but it had all the bells and whistles.. And of course, I was afraid to drive it too much because it was so new (and they charge you for any dings or dents)..  But it was fun for the 3 days I had it..  I was anxious to get a new vehicle, especially since they worked so fast at getting me money for my totalled car..

I looked at a bunch of cars, but I really loved my 2006 Kia Spectra, so I found one that was almost like it but better..  This is my new car, a 2009 Kia Spectra..  besides the spoiler, the color, the year and the rain gaurds, there isn't much difference..  Oh, and my lowered car payment.. Which is nice..

Oh, one big difference is that it has remote entry, 3 sets of keys and REMOTE START!!  I didn't originally know it came with that.. Three days after I got the car, they called me saying they had the third set of keys and they thought it also had remote start on it.. I drove down and it took three of us to figure out how to use it.. lol..  This will definitely come in handy in the coming months.. :)


But thanks to the generous amount of money they gave me for my old Kia, I was able to put a hefty down payment on the new car and have extra money to pay some bills that, before my accident, I was worried how I was going to pay on time.. Also before my accident, I was honestly worried about my car's increasing mileage (when it got totalled it was nearing 155,000 miles).. So, in retrospect, I think this car accident was a blessing in disguise..

Yes, I will be hurting for a bit.. No, it's not something I would ever ask to have happen to me.. But it did happen and it is helping me in the long run.  I have been able to buy stuff without having to worry if I'll be able to afford other things.. I have been able to get a laptop so I can finally do homework (and blog or play on FB) while at work (which is where I am now)..

Thankfully, since my accident, everything seems to be going in my favor.. And while a small part of me is wondering when the bad is coming (bc that's how it usually works), I'm trying to squash it.. Because everyone deserves happiness right?!  :)

Well, good night peeps!  Talk at ya soon!

Anticipation..

Holy hell!  I knew it had been a while since I'd blogged, but I didn't think it had been over 2 months!!  Sorry, people..

I'm so excited to say that my Vertical Sleeve gastrectomy is in 10 DAYS!!  And then I turn 29 in 17 days!!  Yep, my surgery is exactly one week before my 29th birthday.. :)  I planned it like that on purpose.. Can't be in the hospital ON my birthday.. That'd be stupid.. lol

I've got my witches hat to wear for Halloween.. since I will be in the hospital walking around.. and hopefully my niece and nephews will come see me before they go trick or treating bc my niece is going to be Julia Ghoulia from Monster High and I can't wait to see her.. I can't wait to see the boys either.. lol

I wish I had gotten my craft room up and organized so I could make my own hospital gown, but I guess I'll live wearing those ugly green hospital gowns.. :( 

Let's recap for a second about the past two months:

** My parents have been out of the house for a little over a month..  It's been weird, but wonderful!

** On the 29th of September, I was involved in a head on collision.. well, it was head on for me.. Someone pulled out in front of me and I t-boned them.. thankfully I wasn't going too fast (like 30 mph) but it did deploy the airbag and sprain my sternum..  My car was totalled and I got a better version of my previous car.. lol.. bc I loved it so much!  You can check it out on FB.. or click here..

** My last dietary appointment was the 1st of the month.. and somehow I'd lost almost all the weight I'd gained in the second month.. So happy bc my dietician was threatening to halt my surgery date because of it..

** I was able to get an actual car loan!!  Seriously, I haven't been able to get a credit card because my credit sucks that bad.. So when they told me I got a car loan (albeit with a high percentage rate), I was ecstatic.. :)


I think that's it, for now.. I'm at work, and about to leave..  TTFN!

Exhausted..

Today has been an emotionally exhausting day.. Why?! Bc my brother, sister-in-law and niece were packing up their home and getting ready to leave at 1am tonight..

I had not realized it was already the 13th.. I got word that my clients for today had declined baths, I was happy to be off bc it meant that I got to go see my niece before they were leaving.. And now I'm glad I did..

I spent about 4 hours over there helping my SIL and brother pack and clean as much as I could.. And then around 2:30, I had to leave to get ready for work.. BRING ON THE TEARS!!

I only cried a bit.. Bc it will hit me in a couple days.. That's how I am, when anything bad happens, I always have an emotional delay of sorts.. So I'll prolly have a break down on Wednesday.. Lol

But I am feeling exhausted.. I hate to see them go, even if I get a house to myself in return.. I wish they could stay here in Indiana.. Instead, I guess I'll be taking a bunch of trips to Virginia.. :)

My mom got to watch my niece for a while.. Here are some of their 'self portraits'..

Everyone's Moving On..

Well, this is prolly a record for me anymore.. twice in two days?!  Wow!!  lol.. but I've got a lot going on, and I wanna talk about it..

Over the past couple months, my family has been coming to terms with something HUGE.. On June 1st, my brother officially made it through Drill Sergeant school.. I am so proud of him, but seeing as there aren't many Army bases in Indiana, he had to make the decision on where to move.. His choices were some town in Arkansas or Arlington, Virginia.. We have history (and two grandfather's buried) in Arlington, so he chose Virginia..

He has to report to base on the 15th of this month.. and it's been a figment of our imagination until this past week.. They are packing up their lives, their memories, our Layla, and moving to Arlington.. :(  My mom is getting sadder and sadder, thinking of not having Layla 2 miles down the road.. We are all happy for them.. but it will be weird not having them around..

To make it even weirder, my parents are moving into my brother and SIL's house..  This makes me very excited (as long as I don't think about the fact that my brother, SIL and Layla are leaving for this to happen), because I AM STAYING IN OUR HOUSE!!  I will have a whole house to myself, hopefully by the time my surgery is happening.. lol

They are gonna take their time moving, which is understandable.. but I can't help wanting them to just GTFO.. ;)  I've been living with them for almost 5 years.. It'll be weird being on my own again, but I'm looking forward to it..  I'm looking forward to having a craft room (yes, I already have the rooms planned out), and to walking around partially dressed without worrying about flashing my dad (EWWW!)..

So things are getting kinda crazy around here.. and they aren't looking like their gonna stop anytime soon..

It's Been Scheduled!!

Well, today has been an eventful day.. Why?!

Because I had my Pre-Op appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Cooper..  He's kinda funny, and he's got this mustache that goes on FOREVER!  But after going over my health history and making sure I was certain I wanted a Vertical Sleeve, he felt my belly a little and then we went to the front to talk about appointment times..

Now, while my appointment is based upon the assumption that it will take less than 4 weeks to get my insurance to approve it, I've been told that my insurance takes less than 2 weeks to usually get it approved.. Less if you bug them (which we all know I will)..  So, as of right now, my last appointment before surgery is October 1st, and then they'll put the paperwork into my insurance company.. and my surgery is scheduled for October 31st!!

Yep, I will be having surgery on Halloween!  My aunt asked me if I plan on dressing up.. lol.. maybe I'll bring wings to wear with my custom-made hospital gown.. Oh, yeah.. I plan to start making my own hospital gown bc those ones in the hospital are freaking UGLY!!  But thankfully I'll only (supposedly) be in the hospital the day of surgery and the next day.. :)

Oh, and did I mention that my surgery is exactly a week before my 29th birthday?!  Yep, so I will be on a strictly liquid diet for my birthday.. and I'm not talking alcohol (that'll be a no-no for a while).. so thanks to Pinterest (I've got a whole board for After Surgery), I found what I will be having instead of cake..

I'm thinking it will be a mini version of something like this.. because I prolly won't be drinking that much for a long time..  I need to start working on the fact that my surgery date is not the "starting point" of my weight loss.. If I don't start working on getting some stamina now, and if I can't work out for two weeks after surgery, I'm gonna be at a disadvantage when I'm actually able to workout.. So if I can keep working out more and more, and I plan to join a gym again in September, I hopefully will have a good momentum going to keep my body burning fat well into the 2 weeks off..

And did I mention that supposedly I will GAIN around 10 lbs after surgery?!  NO WAY!!  I'm not looking forward to that.. but it also supposedly goes away (it being bloating and all that)..  and maybe with my metabolism getting faster, it'll hopefully help that weight go away faster.. fingers crossed..

I've Given Up..

Yeah, I'm sure most of you all have realized that I'm not here anymore.. I haven't blogged steadily in months.. And I haven't done anything productive in almost a year..

But it stops today.. It was supposed to stop yesterday but I used that day as a recoup kind of day.. Went to the grocery store, slept a lot, etc..

But today, and for the rest of August (for now), I plan to do at least 10 minutes of activity every day.. And I will be posting a pic of me doing this activity daily on here.. This way I can get back into blogging before my surgery..

I keep thinking 'When I get my surgery...' and I shouldn't be thinking like that.. Bc this surgery is just a tool, not a miracle.. And if I don't start working on the other tools I already have (that are just rusty), this surgery won't be any real help in the long run.. And that is why I'm doing the surgery... For the long haul..

Oh, wanna hear something totally depressing?! I weighed in at my dietician's appointment last week and weighed in at 283!! That disgusts me.. But what disgusts me even more is what I see in the mirror.. And the question I always ask is 'how is that really me?!'

Kings Island: Day 1

So as I said before, I am currently at Kings Island with my BFF, Amanda, and my cousin, Chrissy.. Thanks to it being a Sunday, the lines were AWESOME! Hardly any wait in the main park..

Now, today has been an eye opener.. The first ride that we tried to ride (me and my cousin), I wouldn't fit into the seat enough to put the lap guard down far enough.. I was shocked! In my head I still see myself at like 220.. I KNOW that I weigh in at almost 280, but in my mind, I'm not that fat..

Today was a struggle with the rides.. And while that was the only ride I literally had to get off of before it started, I struggled through a couple more before we went to the waterpark.. Which was a whole other issue: swimsuits! Eek!

I feel like a beached whale in a bathing suit right now.. No offense to anyone, but this is me I'm talking about.. I hate living in this fat suit I've put myself in!!

But I had fun, for the most part.. We ran out of steam, and things to do, so we came back to the hotel and went to eat.. Then went to Target til we could check in at 3.. Now, here we are... All lying on our respective beds, chilling bc we're exhausted..

Happy Sunday!!!

Magic Mike, Heat, and Sweat..

Okay, let me first start with this:

HI!

I'm sorry I've been away for a long time, but it's been a weird couple of months.. But it seems like it's been longer than 1.5 months since I last blogged..

I plan to write another entry (hopefully tomorrow or Saturday) about all my VS surgery appointments.. But right now, life is kinda exciting for me, outside of my impending surgery..

Thanks to a local Louisvile radio station (and my stalker-like actions with them.. Hehe) I aw able to win 2 tickets to their Wednesday night premier of Magic Mike.. Don't know what that is?! Where have you been?! Google it..

Thankfully it was at 7:30pm, not at midnight like I originally thought.. And THEY HAD STRIPPERS!! In a movie theater!! The girl next to me was celebrating her last day being 20-something, so she got a tank top..

Of course, I'm always wanting free shirts, so I asked what we have to do to get a black shirt.. Lmao.. Well, the proof is in the picture, right?!

Mean guy wouldn't let me touch him.. :( But I got my shirt.. Thankfully we were in the front row.. Too bad the movie wasn't in 3D though.. Hehehe

By the time we left (at 9:30 pm), thanks tiny social anxiety, I was pooped.. Not a lot of people get how much energy it takes to go out in strange places right now. I used to be so outgoing, and since gaining all this weight I've become so introverted.. It's sad, to me.. It now takes me DAYS to 'bounce back'.. I'm seriously hoping that changes once I start losing weight..

And now, we have the hottest week in Indiana EVER! I'm not made for this kind of heat.. Pretty sure all my chubby peeps are feeling the same way.. HEAT IS BAD! I can't wear makeup, my hair frizzed out no matter how I fix it, and all my work stuff is HOT AS HELL when I go to use it.. Ugh!

Oh yeah, did I mention I'm going to Kings Island on Sunday with my BFF an my cousin?! Not too happy about going ANYWHERE in a bathing suit, but it should be fun.. We're going for 2 days (thanks to $25 tickets from work).. I haven't been there since high school.. The Rugrats characters were still there when I went last.. Lol

One last thing.... I'm almost up to 280 lbs.. I was shocked when I saw that.. But more on that later..

How's YOUR week going?

Hello?! Is Anyone There??

I feel like I've lost all my followers.. While yes, I still have them, I miss all the comments I used to get.. but then again, I'm only talking now.. no weigh ins, no NSV's..

BUT........ I really want some feedback this time, so I'm hoping that more people look at (and comment on) this entry..

My life is boring!! 

Yep, snooze fest at my house.. :(   I am a creative person.. until it's time to come up with ideas of what to do in my spare time.. I need to get out of my comfort zone.. so here's where YOU come in..

What is a hobby that you like to do??  What do you try to do every now and then to keep life interesting?? 

I'm begging you........ HELP!!

Sleep Study Overview..

Just a warning: There are some pretty funny (and embarrassing on my part) 

pictures about to come your way..  So enjoy!  :)

So, yesterday was supposed to be a great day.. I got to celebrate my BFF's birthday, I was off work, and I got to get my sleep study done.. I was excited!  Then I locked my keys in my car (for the 4th time in like 3 months), found out my brother and SIL have to move (possibly to ARKANSAS) by the end of the Summer, and remembered I wasn't able to take a nap at all..

By the time 8pm came by, which is when I was leaving my BFF's house, I was exhausted.. I had to check in by 8:15pm and I was there early.. with my highlighter pink VS bag and pillow under my arm.. lol

I wish I'd gotten a pic of my sleep study tech, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have been able to anyways.  But her name was Jenny, and she was super sweet.. kept talking to me about all sorts of stuff so it didn't get weird.. lol.. Here's my "before" picture:

Oh, and the room?!  I was expecting a little better than a normal private hospital room.. sure as hell was surprised when I walked into this..

The bed was pretty comfy, surprisingly enough.. lol.. and of course, I couldn't end the night without watching a little NASCAR.. lol

While I was watching TV, Jenny started to put on the nice little electrodes.. YAY (insert sarcasm here)!!  I looked FABULOUS!!  lmao..
 

OH, and here's the final picture.. I basically had tubes all around me, and had to call out when I had to pee.. lol.. 

But Jenny was super sweet and said that I needed to be asleep for at least 6 hours and that she'd wake me up a little before 6 because of shift change..  I got about 8 hours (thank GOODNESS!) and then had the fun task of taking off the lovely tape.. EEK!!  It wasn't that bad, but the electrode on the top of my head left a sweet little red mark on my scalp and then I saw these when I got out of the shower..  I LOOK LIKE I HAVE TONS OF HICKEYS, DAMN IT!!

That last pic is of the mark on my cheekbone where the tape irritated my skin.. lol.. just in case you are wondering..  Well, that's all folks.. I'm off to get ready for work..

Pinterest is AWESOME!!

Most of you probably have heard about Pinterest, right?!  

But have you TRIED Pinterest yet?? 

If you haven't, please leave me your email address in a comment and I will send you an invite.. bc it's seriously the most addicting website since Facebook.. and if you have, FOLLOW ME!  I will follow back.. :)

I can honestly spend hours on there just looking at stuff..  And while I've been looking at everything, I've been trying to find some recipes for smoothies bc once I get this surgery, I will be on a liquid diet for 4 to 6 weeks..  ick!

Double ick?!  I can't use straws!!  WHAT?!  Yeah, they say it allows too much air into your stomach, and in the beginning that isn't ideal bc you need to eat as much as you can.. But I've found several smoothie recipes on here, but I'm hoping some of you can help me out in a certain aspect..

What is the best TASTING protein powder??  

I am being told that I'm supposed to get between 70 to 90 grams of protein a day in the beginning..  and I can't imagine eating that much Greek yogurt (even though I'm sure I could with all the assorted Chobani flavors)..  So help a girl out, if you can.. 

Oh, and in case you have been paying attention, I will be blogging tomorrow about my sleep study that I'm doing tonight.. INCLUDING pictures of me all hooked up.. lol.. I'm hoping I can get all sorts of stuff, maybe a video??  Who knows.. but keep an eye out for it tomorrow.. :)

Have a great weekend!